All this chatter out there about Ted Haggard and the sex he claims he did or did not have, got me thinking about sex in the ex-gay programs I attended.
Some people come to ex-gay programs sexually naive. They never had sex in their lives and have little idea where they would even procure gay sex. That is until they walk into an ex-gay program where day after day they hear people talk about gay sex--what's it like, where to get it, how good it felt during the act, how icky one might feel afterward (particularly if that one gets in trouble for it.)
I know of at least two guys from my Love in Action days who came into the program virgins and successfully graduated many months later armed with so much information about cruising spots and anonymous sex protocol that once they left off being ex-gay, they plunged into a gay sex fest that lasted months if not years.
In this video I answer the question many have have asked as I talk about SEX as an ex-gay.
Want to experience more bizarre rules, church hookups and the dangers of bananas in an ex-gay program? Get the Homo No Mo DVD!
Also take a look at Carol Boltz' recent post Ex-Gay Therapy--They Make you Straight Enough to Sleep with a Woman, Long Enough to Break Her Heart.
There must be heads already exploding over at Topeka, Kansas-based Westboro Baptist Church. (365gay):A key legislative committee has approved a bill to add sexual orientation and gender identity to the state's anti-discrimination law.A recent poll asked Kansans whether it would be ok to fire someone because they were gay; 80% support changing Kansas law to add protections."It's clear that the time has come to extend the same protections from discrimination to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people that so many other Kansans already enjoy," said Maggie Childs, chair of the Kansas Equality Coalition.
Approval by the Senate Federal and State Affairs Committee moves the bill forward, but it still needs hearings and a vote by the full legislature.
80% - what will Fred Phelps do if this passes? Maybe this will make the hate-filled loon finally kick off.
For those who think the postings about the personal lives of the Pam's House Blend baristas are self-indulgent, this is probably a diary to skip. This is one of those save-for-the-weekend discussion kind of posts, and it's in the spirit of Pam's House Blend being a virtual lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender coffee house -- and in such a coffee house, the baristas will occassionally discuss what's going on in our lives. So, if you're interested in me blabbing away about my experiences in the real world this past week, head up to your coffee house counter and pick up a real of virtual cup of your favorite espresso beverage -- 
pick me up a virtual double-shot hammerhead (that's black and bitter as death) while you're up at the counter -- and then we can blab!
Okay. This past Friday I went to the Veterans Administration Weight Control Clinic for a post gastric bypass surgery follow-up appointment, as well as an appointment with the clinic's dietician. Just as my primary care physician did a week ago last Wednesday, the folk at the follow-up clinic declared me physically "healthy."
From the physical health perspective, I'm now in the normal Body Mass Index (BMI) for my height; my blood pressure is significantly lower than it was when I was heavier; my pulse rate has slowed to something age appropriate; and all the results from all the blood tests (blood taken on Wednesday) are within the normal range. Plus, the dietician approves of my diet and exercise plan, and considers me a success that she wants to show off at one of the gastric bypass support group meetings..."Soon."
Oh. Filling out some background on the BMI stuff, fully clothed (minus my shoes) I weighed in at 168 pounds. My peak weight was 296 pounds in July of 2007 -- so I've experienced over 125 pounds of total weight loss in the last 18 months. My goal at the start of the weight loss process was to float between range of 165 to 170, and well -- I'm there.
[Photos of before and after weight loss, as well as my thoughts about being skinny, and being noticed by middle-aged-and-older heterosexual military veterans, after the fold.]
Even when I put this in context of me still having hidden disabilities, this is still mighty good news from the Weight Control Clinic. 
My high blood pressure, high cholesterol level, and pre-diabetic conditions are essentially either completely in check, or as in the case of the pre-diabetic condition -- completely gone.
And as a side benefit, I look skinny. Sure, I'm still big boned, so size 0 skinny was always out of the question, but I never did really want to be 5'10" and size 0 skinny anyway. 
The strange side effect of looking skinny though is I'm no longer invisible as a woman.
I guess I need to explain that last statement. When I began my transition from male-to-female six years ago (this coming February 6!), I didn't pass as my target sex of female a good deal of the time. After removing much of my dark facial hair and seeing my skin soften as a result of taking estrogens and a testosterone blocker, 
I did start passing as female, but I'd gained so much weight from medications I was taking at the same that I'm turned that kind of invisible that obese people experience. In other words, when I began my transition I was only visually noticed as someone who was often perceived to be a male dressing as a female, and when I started passing as a female I had become so overweight that most people just looked past and through me.
Well, losing weight has changed how noticeable I am as a woman -- people are not looking past or through me in the way I've been used to.
I really notice this change of how I'm looked at when I go to appointments at the San Diego Veterans Administration Medical Facility. The patient load at the VA is -- well, how do I say this -- perhaps a bit testosterone rich. Basically, there seems to be a significant percentage of the middle-aged-and-older heterosexual veterans who are eyeballing me in ways I've not been eyeballed at any time at any previous point in my forty-plus years of life. If you can imagine a world where no heterosexual man had ever in your entire life found you to be attractive, and then finding yourself in a world -- in your forties -- where a good number of heterosexual men in their mid-thirties-and-older are finding you attractive...well, that's my world right now. I can tell you that this is a very odd feeling world for me to wake up to.
I'm finding the attention flattering, even though I know it's a pretty shallow thing to feel flattered in this way. But hey, I know this isn't a bad thing; it's just brand new and different experience for me. Who knew I'd have be having new experiences like this in my late forties? I didn't, that's for sure.
And then to this, add the dimension of having spent much of the recent couple of weeks being referred to as a homosexual transsexual, a tranny, and spoken of with male pronouns¹ by some people who've been associated with terms such as women-born-transsexual (WBT), women of transsexual history, classic transsexuals, and/or Harry Benjamin Syndrome (I don't know which identification goes with each individual making the specific, unpleasant comments). My ponderings of my new attractiveness to a number of heterosexual men strikes me as somewhat incongruous to the unpleasant, blogosphere comments being made about me.
But enh, such is life. So what's new in your life? Anything interesting?
~~~~~~~
¹Comment: suesue, January 26th, 2009 @ 2:43 pm
.
No comments:
Post a Comment